it didn't work out

we got him his own space. we got him food. we got him a name. but after only two days, we had to let the puppy go. it just wouldn't work out. i'm too scared to come close to mclovin' (yeah, we named him after the guy from superbad--gary and i love that no-brainer movie :P) so he wouldn't be taken care of when gary's gone for work. plus he's too demanding. this being manifested most by his incessant noise that drove us crazy in such short a time. i think the hubby realized having a dog isn't as great as he thought it would be. so yeah, we're back to just the two of us and we kinda like it this way. for now.

something new

there's a new addition to our family.

and god i wish i could say it's a baby! baby like human baby, gary-ina spawn, mini me or mini gary. but it's just our new baby dog. anyone close to me knows i don't like man's so-called best friend. i'm not a hater, i really like them in pictures... :P it's just i'm terrified by dogs. big time. but the husband wants a doggie around the house, and i guess this is what you call marital compromise, so i'm still trying to get over my fear of dogs. yes, even a puppy. i still scream when he walks towards me and i hate how my heart races even when i know he's not going to bite or anything.

the husband actually got two terriers but we had to give away our new puppy's sister because we can't handle them together. we've yet to name him. gary's giving me the honor, but i kinda wanna wait to see what kind of personality he has so he can get a name that fits him. right now he's just a sad dog. doesn't bark,doesn't run, doesn't eat. i can tell gary's amused, as i type this, the new partners are out somewhere in the compound walking. i never expected i'd say yes to staying in a house with a dog but i'll live.


he's as suspicious of me as i am of him. lol

fickle, fickle

without even a week with me, my white corolla practice car is history. the husband sneaked out the car yesterday, sold it, and bought me a white honda accord today. can't be happier. the car is pretty sweet for somebody like me who doesn't know sh*t about driving :)

here's a familiar sight: gary cleaning my car. hehe

my new baby after a shower

sorry...had to take the customary owner shot. LOL

catching up

as you may have noticed, no real pictures lately, which is ironic since gary and i each have our own camera. the funny thing is that gary's usb connector for his sony cybershot is missing, while my cannon uses disposable batteries which we never seem to remember to buy. so. i tested our lg chocolate phones and sent these shots to my verizon album online. worked like a charm, but the photos aren't as clear as i'd hope. here, date night at red lobster.


the hubby bought me a practice car, a white corolla. it's still in good shape, and more importantly, it's automatic. his civic is 5-speed, and knowing how bad i did at driver's ed in the philippines, a brake, a clutch and a gas pedal could be too much for me. LOL i can only stare at it, i've yet to get my driver's permit. haha

we got life to do

in between date nights and house chores, gary and i are starting to realize that we're headed for some major changes in a few months.

first of all, gary's getting out of the army. he has until january next year because he's under stop loss, but it could be sooner since the rest of his brigade's coming back from iraq next week. he just needs to take their weapons in (he's the armorer) and clear by then. i see he's really weary of his job too, and as i said before, i'm wanting a normal civilian life for us.

the catch here is, he'll be under transition after he's out of service. he needs to get a new job. and well, it's really important that i get a job too before he finishes his contract, just to keep things running smooth.

right now, i'm torn between two job prospects, the first one in marketing is a sure thing, but is not something i look forward to doing because it's an entirely different field. it's financially helpful for sure, but half of me wants to wait and see what happens with the grant writer position that i tested for. i asked the human resource department about my application and i'm said to be scheduled for interview next week. crossing my fingers.

in a few hours i'm taking my test for a driving permit. i don't wanna take it yet, but the husband's hurrying to get me behind the wheel. he's also scouting for an automatic practice car (we have a 5-speed car right now). i always had a fantasy of driving a beat-up red pick up truck, and when i told gary that, he was pretty amused by the idea too. he's been looking for vintage trucks for days, but today the husband suddenly said he's worried about how i'll control such a big vehicle. so. i think i'll end up with a car after all. of course this whole driving thing is crucial if i'm working soon. i already took driving lessons while in the philippines, but ran out of time to get me an internatioanal driving license. now i have to go through the whole texas dmv process.

how to lose reality and alienate your husband (pasintabi kay Toby Young)

check what time it is in the philippines.

turn on your laptop.

search for live streaming sites.

hook up your headset.

be transported to another time and place (read: philippine time and, well, philippines).

watch news about noynoy waking up. noynoy eating breakfast. noynoy being dressed by liz uy. noynoy getting in the car. noynoy in malacañang. noynoy with gma. noynoy sitting onstage. noynoy watching charice. christian bautista. apo hiking society getting out of retirement for another gig. ogie alcasid. regine velasquez. the madrigal singers. noel cabangon. noynoy taking his oath. noynoy giving his speech. noynoy walking out of the venue.

realize you've been glued to the monitor for five hours non-stop.

look at your starving husband who not only missed dinner but has taken to talking to the walls thanks to your prolonged mental and emotional absence.

stage husband

so proud!

never in my life did i expect to get me a stage husband. but i like it. a lot :) i went to my first job test today, not an interview, just a test, and gary looked like a doting dad ready to drop his baby daughter off to 1st day of kindergarten.

i'm finally starting my job search, and this one was for a grant writer position downtown. as you may know, i battle with insomnia most nights, and the husband was adamant about making me sleep early last night so i could get enough rest for my test. i had to stop myself from laughing because he was serious about it.

in the morning he was a human stopwatch, telling me how much time i got left to eat and shower. i watched him watch me try out my wardrobe and when i was done with my make up, oh my gosh, the proud daddy took pictures. LOL maybe he missed seeing me in my office clothes. it has been a while.

i mean, the last time i went job hunting was five years ago, right after college, when i got my job in the senate. so naturally, i was a bit nervous. i could see gary was amused when i was quiet in the car. he kept on telling me 'you're gonna get this,' and when he saw that wasn't exactly the encouragement i was looking for, he tried 'there are many other jobs out there even if this one turns out to be not for you.'

we got to the company building 15 minutes early, and he sat there with me while i waited to be called. when i finished in about an hour, he was still there, smiling and asking me how everything went.

i have a stage mom, i have a stage husband, i'm made. LOL

new everything!

as a little girl i always loved june and december. june meant the start of the school year, and december meant christmas. no, i didn't look forward to going back to school. i did get very excited however about getting new stuff for school. and then there's new shoes and clothes and toys for christmas of course.

i think this is something i wasn't able to outgrow. matter of fact, i love shopping. no matter how big or small the purchase, getting something new has a way of uplifting my mood. on this note, in just two weeks, gary and i never had more new things in our lives. it was no joke starting over, but i'm loving the fresh start.

we got to el paso the same day; him from iraq (i didn't make it to his homecoming! sadddd...) and me from santa clara, the day after arriving from the philippines. it was a leap of faith for me to come to el paso because as everyone knows, we gave up everything before gary got deployed to iraq--the car, the apartment, the pans and pots, the tv, what have you--and he wanted me to wait until he gets us an apartment so then i didn't have to have a hard time. i just trusted my instinct and flew in anyway.

so yeah. for a week, we stayed at the hotel and took the cab while we searched for a new apartment and a new car. saying that was hard would be the understatement of the year. we literally spent an arm and a leg going around el paso, aimlessly searching for these essentials. under the el paso heat. we're on three digits this month because it's still summer, and the scorching weather is just unbelievable. i worry about skin cancer, i kid you not!

so after a week of losing sleep, money and more, we finally found a new home. it's pretty close to our previous place but i really like this one for so many reasons. there are more trees in our new compound than in any other spot in the city. it's close to everything, like our place before, only this time it's even closer to gary's work, which is very important.

the one-bedroom apartment is just the perfect size for me and my husband. this means it's cozier and easier to clean up, thank you very much :P the bedroom already has a headboard, which matches the rest of the woodwork in the kitchen and the living room. i'm still in the process of putting everything together, so no pictures yet, but i'm splashing red, orange, and brown--autumn colors--all over the place. like i said, we gave up everything last november, so we bought new plates, a new couch, a new tv set(this 42" plasma is my new best friend), a new dvd player, a new shower curtain, new everything!

the hubby is pretty happy with his new red honda, although he gives me his non-chalant face and says the car is "ok lang" lol our new phones on the other hand are just plain eye-candies. they are soooooo hard to use. touch screen technology needs some serious tweaking. i always end up dialing a number by accident, and even texting becomes such a chore.

but beyond these new things, it's really the new life i'm looking forward to. gary is getting out of the service in a few months, and we're both in search of new careers. uncertainty lies ahead, but as it is always the case with me and gary, we always pull through :)

guess who's back?

so i'm writing this entry at the ungodly hour of 3 am. third day back in the Philippines and I'm still nursing a jetlag. i would like to blame it all on this, but really, it's not just jetlag that's making me feel lost despite being home.

being away from gary makes me realize i neither belong here in bataan nor in santa clara with his family. i belong to him, wherever he is; which, i think it is now safe to say, is in iraq--he already left the states for his deployment yesterday. okay, so i'm speaking figuratively, but i literally feel like a piece of me is missing.

i really have to hand it to him. he does EVERYTHING to keep in touch with me. the boy was on the phone with me every step of the way, i felt like i was on a C130 heading to the middle east. even during refueling in minnesota, he managed to get hold of me to remind me he's always coming back for me no matter what.

i remember what he told me before we left santa clara. he said when he went back to el paso and i was left at his parents', he'd wake up in the morning and his instinct was to reach for me. "i feel like i'm about to lose my mind when i'm not with you." this is pretty much what i'm feeling right now. i enjoy being home, but i can't feel completely at peace with gary away. i'm still waiting to hear from him, which i hope is sooner than later. we have no idea how it's gonna be for us while he's stationed there but i'm confident he'll do everything in his power to touch base.

how was my trip back? unbearable, like i expected it to be. i cannot stress enough how much i dislike airports, and i always have airport stories to tell. for this outing, it was simply an episode from twilight zone. to begin with, all my luggages were overweight. i had a balikbayan box packed by gary, which exceeded the limit by 10 pounds. his brother's balikbayan box (which i was to bring to their other brother here) was a good 6 pounds overweight too. my carry-on luggage was 30lbs, when only 15 lbs was allowed. to top it all, i was hauling a 14.1" toshiba laptop that probably weighed more than i do on my backpack. in the middle of opening balikbayan boxes and weighing my stuff again, i just wanted to leave everything behind. the stress was just too much for a few freaking cans of spam and corned beef!

to make matters worse, the lady at cathay pacific was a total pain in the ass. she was at my throat, telling me she's about to close the counter and i might have to miss my flight. i wanted to give my 'is this the kind of customer service (fill in the company name) has?' speech, but this whole balikbayan business was too tiring i just decided to shut up. i was, of course, last to board.

the only nice thing about this trip was how surprisingly tasty food on cathay pacific was. definitely better than PAL or KLM. while i always thought plane food was bland, the meals for my flights were all really good.

i did not sleep a wink on neither my flight from san francisco to hong kong nor my flight from hong kong to manila. while waiting for my connecting flight at the hong kong international airport, i sat for three hours with filipinos going home from all points of the earth. it was so weird, almost like a ritual, to hear all these people ready to share their biography with complete kababayan strangers. 'i'm coming from vacouver...been there for X years, working as...' or 'i haven't seen the philippines for X years because my kids and i don't get along..' or 'filipino workers are trusted better here in hong kong...so i told my mother not to worry about me' they must've thought i was a total smuck for not wanting to share my lifestory. and as if this display of national bonding weren't enough, at one of the corners of gate 30 gathered some 14 (i counted!) filipino guys watching the replay of the manny pacquiao fight on youtube passionately. it was quite a sight...and i'm filipino!

past the really long trip, the immigration, the luggage retrieval, and all the other inconveniences, i'm happy to be home. i got to see my new nephew jepoy who is just soooo adorable. i got to eat siomai and tinapa. later my brother's coming home from manila and we'll probably be on the magic sing microphone the whole day. if only gary were here then everything would be perfect.

no more war films for this sissy

not yet eligible for employment, i spend my days inside the house, trying my luck in the kitchen and waiting for gary to come home from work. it really is a major change of lifestyle for me, so gary makes it a point to take me out every chance he gets.

a diversion we've both acquired living in sleepy el paso is watching movies. we rent dvds every night (we watch at least 8 movies a week) and go to the theatre every weekend (sometimes even on weekdays). for saturday and sunday, i got the uma thurman comedy 'my super ex-girlfriend' while gary got the soldier movie 'home of the brave' from blockbuster. the husband must've been tampo (bet he wouldn't admit it though) when i snuck out of the room to avoid watching 50 cent, et. al play u.s. army soldiers in iraq. i told gary the previous weekend that i was staying away from war movies after i soaked myself in tears watching 'letters from iwo jima.'

on a lighter note, we also went to the cinema yesterday hoping to catch 'state of play' but were three hours early for the next screening so we decided to have fun watching 'aliens vs. monsters' in 3D. we had to add a little for the 3D glasses (which gary never took off until we were back in the car :) ).


anyway, back to 'letters from iwo jima'. i always had this movie in my mind for some reason, and while we were scouring the aisles of blockbuster one weekend, i stumbled upon it. i didn't know (or maybe forgot) what it was about or who was on it but i didn't hesitate to get a copy. when we got home, i remembered why. the movie stars ken watanabe, who played the chairman in memoirs of a geisha (i was fixated with the book and the movie a few years back) and katsumoto in the last samurai.


letters from iwo jima, directed by clint eastwood, portrays the battle of iwo jima, an island in japan, during world war II. it was presented from the perspective of the japanese soldiers whose letters were found burried inside the tunnels they used during war. it complements eastwood's other movie about the same subject 'flags of our fathers', which depicts the same battle from the american viewpoint. letters from iwo jima is almost entirely in japanese but was made by american production companies.

maybe it's just me--i have a knack for crying when i'm not supposed to, and not crying when i should. maybe the movie really was touching. maybe because my husband is in the army, waiting for orders to get deployed in the middle east. maybe it's all of the above. all i know is, not even half-way through the movie, i was crying my eyes out, blaming gary for 'making' me watch another war movie (see i promised myself i wouldn't see one ever again when i became a captive audience of 'pearl harbor' playing in a bus travelling home to bataan). he gently reminded me i was the hand that picked the film from the shelf. oh well.

now gary has a lot to say about war. world war II. the japanese invasion (i think he's more zealous about the japanese invasion of the philippines than the clash between japan and the states--he wouldn't stop talking about the bataan death march since he learned of it). a soldier's life. human nature. honor and courage.

but for me, what touched me was how it showed that regardless of which side one is on, everyone is so much more alike than different. soldiers are husbands, and sons, and brothers (there were no female fighters in the movie). a mother's caring words to her soldier son are the same whether they were spoken in japan or the united states. love is indeed so universal that it makes us so similar however we'd like to think otherwise.

i do not believe in war--or any method that employs aggression for that matter--in solving problems. this principle makes it harder to accept that gary's remaining one year in the army could be extended if he suddenly gets deployed. everyday, we live a normal life of husband and wife--we wake up, eat breakfast, i see him off to work, we share lunch, he reports back to his job, and comes home for dinner. beyond these mundane activities, we often forget that neither of us could tell where he'd be in a few months. he points this out to me every once in a while, especially when i turn up my s(sumpong) over petty things. i hate to even think that we could be apart again for months and months, and he could be risking his life in a warzone because of his profession. the saddest part is, i can't do anything about it.

so yes, starting now, no more war films for this sissy. for real.

the canon camera was finally delivered, and it's GREAT! looks even better than i expected, and the shots are clear any way you take them. how come i have it already? gary found out about my wicked idea, told me there was no way i was taking advantage of my mother, and got me my canon powershot via amazon. he cancelled the freebie from citibank, and ordered a sofabed (which is supposed to arrive any minute now as i type--yipee!!!) in exchange. all's well that ends well. haha